The Sites Upon Leaving the Grocery Store

Which one is mine?

The Day I that Nothing Got Done (Unless Random Vacuuming Counts)

The past few days I've been feeling a bit under the weather. A whole bunch of weird stomach trouble and some pain and nausea, and then some more pain and blah blah blah it's really boring. I've been spending all my spare time laying around the house on whichever horizontal surface is the closest to where the kids are playing. Mostly floors....but when I'm lucky, the couch. As you might guess in all my laying around nothing has gotten done. Not a single thing....except dinner that one night. There are piles of laundry so high that at any given moment we may experience an avalanche and you may never hear from me again....not to mention the stack of dishes that await me in the sink.

This afternoon I was feeling a bit better and decided to make some headway in the massive amounts of cleaning that need to happen in order to make this house livable. As soon as the kids went down for their naps I dug in and started organizing and cleaning stuff. About 5 minutes into my cleanup the doorbell rang.....sending shivers down my spine.

I'm not sure why our house is a target for door-to-door salesmen and Jehovah's Witnesses. I try to make it look as inhospitable as possible. I've even contemplated leaving a sign outside that say's "Uninvited guests are UNWELCOME, if you proceed to ring the doorbell and wake a sleeping child I will toss one of a dozen dirty diapers at your head..." or something equally unfriendly but I'm too afraid to put off the neighbors or our actual friends by it. That said I turn people away weekly. I always feel terrible and very guilty for not buying whatever they're selling, and I've told the JW's multiple times that we're Christians, but they keep coming back. So when the doorbell rings I usually get nervous, have sweaty palms and hesitate to answer it wondering if I just pretend I'm not home if maybe they'll go away.

So this afternoon I went to answer the door, ready to face the incredibly awkward situation that inevitably follows such an excursion only to find a vacuum cleaner salesman. He went through the usual spiel to which I repeatedly shook my head no and tried to close the door. That's when it happened....

Vacuum cleaner salesman: "but Miss, if you let us do our presentation not only will we shampoo your carpet for FREE, but we'll get to go on a trip to Las Vegas! You can help us do this!"

Me: "So if i let you shampoo my carpet for free, you'll get to go to Las Vegas?"

VCS: "Yes, we have to do a certain amount of presentations for this company and then they will give us a paid trip to Las Vegas."

Me: "How many presentations do you have to do?"

VCS: " (long pause) 24."

Me: "Okay, but I promise I'm NOT GOING TO BUY THE VACUUM."

VCS: "That doesn't matter, all we have to do is the presentation, it only takes 20-30 minutes."

Me: "Okay (grudgingly opening the door)."

I let them come in gleefully imagining how the carpet would sparkle after they shampooed it for FREE not knowing i was signing away the next 2 hours of my life to watching a vacuum cleaning demonstration. That's right, TWO HOURS. By the end of it I had stopped watching and started doing the dishes and making dinner. I felt bad, REALLY I did, but my kids were starving and my kitchen was a mess and what kind of vacuum takes 2 hours to demonstrate?

One the up side of this the girl doing the demonstration was really nice. I did enjoy talking to her quite a bit and hope that she does well in college....and no it wasn't my gabbing that kept her so long, her vacuum broke. *Guffaw*

And to answer the unanswered question that's floating around in your mind from the first paragraph, no I am absolutely NOT PREGNANT....I took another test just to be sure.

An Epic Journey

MARIAH CAN WALK!! MARIAH CAN WALK!!

Okay, so I know 13 months isn't record breaking or anything, but for some reason I'm more excited about Mariah walking than I can remember being when Hayden took his first steps. Maybe it helps a little that she went from only crawling to walking as if she's been able to do it for a long time and has been hiding it from us all. So I've decided to dedicate this post to shameless bragging. Normally I try hard to hold back because frankly, when people brag incessantly about their children's accomplishments it tends to make me want to vomit. A little bragging is okay, multiple daily brags however are overkill. No, I'm not bitter about anything, stop giving me the evil eye, you've all felt the same way, just admit it! I digress.

This momentous occasion took first took place on Saturday and totally made up for the fact that i had spent all night Friday spewing my guts out (for lack of better words). I am most excited about taking her to the park to play now, because she will no longer have to crawl around in the dirt....and hopefully that will also mean she will find less cigarette butts to chew on.

Conversations with a Two Year Old: Cars

Hayden: "Look Mommy, what's that?" (pointing to a Volkswagen Beetle)

Me: "That's a car."

Hayden: "No Mommy, that's a RACE CAR!

Me: "?!?!?!"

Mater face

Look closely at the face of the little car...

The Silent Motivator

I should preface this post by saying I accidentally consumed a large amount of caffeine a few hours ago and have spent the last two hours talking to anyone that would talk to me, text me, instant message me or even look in my general direction. I'm also contemplating a midnight run (even though I loath running as a form of exercise) and thinking about doing some Pilate's....it's time to get my abs back.

That said:

I went out for coffee with a friend tonight. We meet weekly to talk about our ups and downs of the week and pray for each other. Since I've been on a diet I've been making this my bonus night where I am allowed to drink something "special" from the coffee shop menu. I usually stick to decaf tea or hot chocolate, but tonight I was feeling risky. I decided to go for a non-fat, DECAF, caramel macchiatto.....and while you're at it give me a medium, it's a better value. I think it was about halfway through our 1 hour meeting that I realized they accidentally messed up the decaf part. All the sudden I was talking nonstop at a speed I didn't know was possible, completely unable to stop the flow of words that were coming out of my mouth. I could even feel my face getting hotter (probably because my mouth was moving so fast). We wrapped up our meeting and I literally skipped and twitched my way out of there and drove home, where I chatted off Hayden's ear and made small talk with Mariah until I realized it was way past there bed time.

I wonder if I'll ever sleep tonight. Now would probably be a good time to give the house a thorough cleaning.

Boots in Progress

Okay, so it's about time that I show you what I've been up too. These are some pictures of the boots I've been trying to figure out how to make. I've revised them from the original pattern about 4 times and I still think they need some more revising before they could be sell-able. What do you think? Opinions? I would LOVE [read: tolerate] constructive criticism. As you can see Mariah wasn't to happy about getting her picture taken this morning, so that's the reason for the random shots of a mini baby tantrum....

Tantrum Week and the End of my Sanity

I don't want you to get the wrong idea and think all I do is complain about my kid's tantrums.....but seriously. SERIOUSLY. This has been a bad week for tantrums. I have also made a secret pact with myself not to take the kids shopping again for a long looooong time. I know i make this pact with myself weekly, but this time I really mean it.....at least until we need groceries again. Our last trip to the grocery store was a nightmare of horrendousness that I have since blocked from my memory and now I can't even tell you what happened. I just remember distinctly that it was BAD....oh wait, yes i remember how it ended: with Hayden laying on the floor in the vitamin isle as Mariah screamed and writhed in my arms, while I desperately tried to ask an associate where they kept the teething tablets.

Since then we have been to the store again only twice, both times we went to the fabric store to feed my ever expanding addiction to sewing....yes, i'm still doing it, I'm obsessed. Before you know it I'll be teaching 4H classes and making my own slip covers. The first time wasn't so bad, both kids behaved pretty reasonably and we made it out with most of our dignity. The second time I hoped would go like the first....especially since we were going to be meeting friends there. Now, maybe I just lack in the patience arena...that's very possible, but for whatever reason I had almost lost my mind by the time Hayden begged to go to the potty for the 5th time in less than 30 minutes. I won't go into detail...because it's painful....but let's just say we got out with much less of our dignity than I had hoped.

In other news, I've taken to growling like a bear when angered and the kids have picked up on it. They both think it's hilarious and Mariah frequently imitates me. I'm sorta glad they don't realize how angry I am when I'm doing it, hearing little giggles helps me to diffuse.

Shoes

I was going to use tonight's post to show you my shoe sewing progress, but when i got all my ugly little shoes together and tried to set them up to take pictures Hayden woke up from his nap, threw a colossal tantrum and I decided in order to avoid further tantrums I would lure him into a good mood by taking him to the park.

So far I've had absolutely no luck with the shoes. They're so ugly I can't even give them away. I did make some boots that turned out pretty cute....well, not the first pair. I'm not sure if I'll ever figure out how to make them cute enough to sell, but I am excited about giving them out as baby gifts. Tune in tomorrow for some pictures.....because I'm pretty sure you've been waiting your whole entire life to see a bunch of pictures of gag worthy shoes.

Baby Shoes and Why Target Brand Pregnancy Tests are the Devil

Sorry I have been neglecting my blog. I have been sewing shoe after shoe in the attempt to figure out how to use my sewing machine and make a baby shoe that is actually wearable. There are little brown shoes littering the living room floor and not a single one of them even fits Mariah....not to mention how NOT cute they are. Apparently my sewing skillz leave something to be desired. I am learning though, and having a surprising amount of fun doing it. I've never considered myself to be "crafty," in fact, years of motherly encouragement and repeated attempts to even LIKE knitting had me giving up on myself, but i'm realizing that sewing is completely different and for some reason that i can't put my finger on i'm actually liking it.

In other news that deserves to be written about, I almost found out I was pregnant on Thursday. I had been feeling really tired for a few days, and add to that a few other unmentionable symptoms and rather than sweat it out I decided to take a pregnancy test....not to mention how much I enjoy peeing on sticks. If those things were cheaper I would buy piles of them just for the pure enjoyment of taking random pregnancy tests. I'm not sure where this fascination comes from, I hope for Mariah's sake it's not genetic. Off to target I went and bought myself a box of pregnancy tests. I should mention that I didn't really think I was pregnant....I mean, the possibility was there, but lets say it was only 2.3%. We have been unbelievable careful since Mariah was born, shell shocked into not wanting another baby just yet.

We put the kids to bed, then I took the test and sat there waiting for my answer. Two minutes later I was still sitting there, staring at the test window and trying to decide if a very very verrrry faint line was a mistake or if I could actually be pregnant. These things don't lie right?? I've read it's almost impossible to get a false positive, but HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I POSSIBLY BE PREGNANT?! I followed that performance with two heart attacks, a shudder, some tears, frantic praying, and then many feelings of guilt over how the baby would feel if it ever found out my initial reaction to it's presence. I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, but unable to think about anything accept how that test couldn't be right. Finally I got up the nerve to ask google about it. Google knows, people. Apparently I'm not the only one who has gotten a false positive from target brand pregnancy test. It happens ALOT. In fact, there are so many people complaining that I'm surprised they haven't done something about it yet.

I read multiple stories about women who have fertility problems taking them and being overjoyed thinking that had finally gotten pregnant, only to find out later from a doctor that the test was wrong. Reading those heartbreaks and disappointments was convicting. I know that if I were to get pregnant now I would love the child unconditionally, as I love my other children, but ideally for the sake of my sanity I would like to wait 5-10 years.....or at LEAST 2.5.

That information obtained I waited for the morning and then peed on another stick just for fun....and too add yet another false positive to the pile. I then thumbed my nose at target brand and went on to tell the story to a couple of friends thinking it was funny. Neither of them thought it was funny and both insisted that I take another test to be sure. I bought the expensive brand the second time around and came up with a NOT PREGNANT on the first try.

For a tightwad I have spent an awful lot of money on pregnancy tests this week....about 22$ to be exact....22$ that i could have been blowing in Etsy's general direction.

Never buy store brand pregnancy tests when you want to know the truth the first time. Lesson Learned.

Home Remedy's: Colds and Flu

Cold and flu season is upon us, so I wanted to share my favorite home remedies and homeopathic stuff just in case you've never delved into that arena.

I used to scoff at the use of homoeopathics thinking that naturopathy was just a bunch of herb growing hippies, and since nothing is actually "scientifically proven", it was just another way for people to make money. Then I had my second child, fell into depression and developed a bulging disk in my lower back. The bulging disk kept me from being able to bend forward more than about 1/2 inch. This meant that I could not lower my newborn baby into her crib. The closest I could get was about 2 inches above it while kneeling (it was a portable crib), i then had to drop her the last 2 inches. I know it sounds like torcher to the baby, and she hated it, but i did try to make the bed very soft (even though that's forbidden these days). At the time i had no other options, no one to help me except my husband at night when he came home from work. After spending a few weeks in agonizing pain, i relented and went to a chiropractor. Being new in the area i accidentally went to a chiropractor that also practiced kinesiology....or muscle testing. I thought he was a little insane and maybe a slight lunatic, and most definitely a tree hugger.....maybe i still think that a little bit. His supplemental remedies however did heal my back. Not only did they heal it, but made it even stronger than it was before.

Since that experience I've been back to that chiropractor many times looking for advice and recommendations on all sort of things....and for the record he was the one who told me to take Enzymes for my daughter's colic (best remedy OF ALL TIME, works after 2 days if you're breastfeeding). I guess what I'm trying to say is if you've never tried this sort of thing before, keep an open mind. Here are a few of my favorite remedies:

Congaplex by Standard Process: This is a vitamin supplement for kids and adults. It can be taken daily or as needed when you get sick with colds, flu, whatever. It will even get rid of an ear infection as fast or faster than antibiotics. We have used this twice when Hayden has had ear infections. It's also recommended for kids who tend to pick up EVERYTHING (sickness related) as it helps to build up the immune system.

Apple Cider Vinegar Cough Syrup Recipe:
1-2 teaspoon Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (it should be a cloudy brownish color)
1-2 teaspoons honey
8 ounces of water

Mix together and drink every 2-4 hours or as needed. You can also substitute apple juice for the honey and water If you're baby is less than 1 year old. I've found this remedy works better than absolutely any cough syrup I've ever tried and is a WHOLE LOT SAFER. If Hayden has a bad cough I give this to him 2 times during the day and once before he goes to sleep. It gets rid of the cough so he can sleep great and get better more quickly.

Hylands Flu Care for Kids: These are supplements for kids and adults alike to help minimize the aches and pains associated with the flu. Note: It is not a fever reducer like tylenol.

All of these items can be googled if you want to buy them....or if I'm lucky they will appear in the advertisement section at the bottom of this post and you can buy them through there. Apple Cider Vinegar can be found at most grocery stores in the vinegar section.

Etsy Revealed: The Never Ending Addiction

Okay, So tonight I got suckered into looking at cool Etsy stuff again. This time it was uber cute little girl shoes. I don't think I'm a very creative person, or very crafty, but now I'm determined to learn. I talked myself into buying a pattern to make little baby shoes. Little babies don't need shoes, so who even knew there would be an industry there, but whatever. I bought shoes for my babies, and I'm sure other people will too...So, now i will have a new hobby. I will be called "Shoe Maker," or more specifically "Baby Shoe Maker." If you have had a baby, are planning on having a baby, or may even become pregnant in the not so distant future I will probably send you free baby shoes as a promotional gift. BUY FROM ME ON ETSY....errr, i guess i better figure out how to use the pattern first.

Culinary Delights

So, I'm back on my diet today and determined to finish it this time which means that at 8:44 pm I'm starving and sitting here browsing on my computer looking at this and drooling. Holy frijoles i want all of those dishes available to me upon my waking. As I was browsing through i happened to see THIS.....the infamous Butternut Squash Crab Bisque recipe complete with dazzling photos. Attempt it if you dare and then come back and tell me how it went for YOU.

I also just saw this, *guffaw* that would have been helpful to know beforehand.