Spider Advice---->Help!

I just googled "are spiders attracted to certain people." You want to know why? The day we spent at the ranch with friends marks the 4th occasion on which I have found a spider resting on Mariah's shoulder.

When I was little my siblings got kicks out of watching shows like "America's Most Wanted," Kujo," "The Gremlins," and pretty much anything scary, so when "Arachnophobia" came out they were all over it. I must have watched it 3 or 4 times before I realized I didn't like watching scary movies. To this day I will close my eyes if I think something scary is going to happen....not that I'm scared ---->pashaw----> I just don't want to have repeats of those scenes playing over and over in my head when I'm trying to fall asleep...which is inevitably what happens. Anyway, that was also the point in my young life where I realized that I am absolutely terrified of spiders. For a long time after that movie I would double and triple check the toilet to make sure there weren't any in there, and I would always let the shower run for a few minutes to make sure no spiders would come out of the shower head.

I'll never forget the time I was walking with Helmut and Hayden on trail at one of the local parks when i began to notice all these freakishly large spiders living in the trees over head. There were hundreds of them....and FREAKISHLY LARGE.....like oreo cookie sized. I contemplated blacking out, but the thought of laying under them was worse than the thought of sprinting to the car and hopefully out running their creepy spider intentions.

There was also that time when I was living out at Camp Eagle. I was heading back home one evening 6 miles into the 8 mile driveway when I spotted a tarantula crossing the road. So naturally I slowed down and let it go by.

Let this be a lesson to you parents. Don't let your kids watch scary stuff on TV or they may develop certain irrational fears.

Back to Mariah: Four times now I have found spiders on her shoulder. FOUR. Can anyone explain this?! I have NEVER found a spider on Hayden's person. DOES SHE NEED MORE BATHS? IS IT A BLOOD TYPE THING? Somebody clue me in so i don't have to keep flicking spiders off of her. All the stress from the spider flicking is also probably the REAL explanation as to why my diet is NOT WORKING......but that's another blog post.

The Workout Plan and Incidental Extras

Last week I went to the gym twice to attend some yoga classes for my back....and that's where my plan for self induced physical therapy met a road block. Both children and myself came down with colds after the second attendance and ended up staying home sick all of the second week.

Our sicknesses hit a peak a couple of days ago, when during the night Mariah woke up and cried and thrashed for two hours, I ran a low grade fever, and Hayden spent the night coughing and waking repeatedly. The next afternoon (which i think was yesterday.....but i've lost all track of time) my vitamins for the kids came in the mail and after 1 day on them we're all feeling much better, but not before yesterday's mishap.

When I was a little kid....aged 6, I witnessed a school mate having a nose bleed. I remember vividly freaking out quietly inside my head (because i was really shy) and thinking his brain was bleeding out his nose. Years later after being married to my wonderful husband for about 4 years, i found out that he too is afflicted by the infrequent nose bleed. VERY infrequent apparently because in our then 9 years of acquaintance and marriage i had never before witnessed one....which brings me to yesterday:

We had been hanging around the house, playing inside, watching cartoons and generally taking it easy when i decided everyone looked well enough for a walk to the mailbox. I asked Hayden if he wanted to ride his bike, to which he promptly said "YES." I then proceeded to use the restroom, change out of my pj's and fix my rat's nest (ugh, i mean hair) while he followed me around whining repeatedly that he wanted to "ride his bike." I was trying to keep my mouth shut and not explode from all the whining, so i didn't say anything. Instead I kept getting dressed. The next thing i knew he was standing in front of me with blood pouring out of his nose. I sat him on the sink and tried not to let my utter horror, worry and panic show on my face as i tried to hold a towel to his nose. He responded the way any strong willed 3 year old boy would: by screaming really loudly and thrashing about. I tried to get him to put his head back....because isn't that what you're supposed to do?! But he refused, kept screaming and the blood kept pouring out like Niagara falls. So i did what i thought would be best and made him lay down on the counter. That made everything 1000% worse, because now not only was he screaming and thrashing, but the blood was going down his throat and choking him and he was coughing it out of his mouth. Right about then i wanted to faint into a dead sleep and not wake up until the issue had resolved itself, but realizing that if I did Mariah would have time to consume that entire deodorant that she was munching on while we were having our little wrestling match i decided not too. Instead I finally got some sense in my head, pulled Hayden into my lap and sat on the counter hugging him, holding a towel to his nose, and explaining amidst the crying that "this is okay and it happens to daddy when he's sick too."

I'm not going to lie, seeing that much blood come out of my son was terrifying. He's a rough boy and is constantly covered in scratches, cuts and bruises from playing, but this was decidedly different. I now realize that I had better do a little research on nose bleeds so that next time it happens I won't feel so panicked. Kids can sense that stuff no matter how little of it shows up on our faces....at least mine can. Which brings me to:

Life Lesson #14 (approx.): Research hereditary illness before it shows up in your kids, so when it does make an appearance you'll know how to deal with it appropriately and without fear.....or at least panic.

Hayden's Birthday

I was going to make a post about Hayden's birthday with tons of pictures of the party and everything that followed, but my actual camera isn't working and I keep getting the beach ball of doom when I try to upload the pictures to my computer. So instead I'm going to give you this picture with Hayden riding his birthday present, and a little explanation of our day.

Saturday we had a party for Hayden at an indoor play place, which was really fun and he had a great time. It was a morning party which meant me dragging myself across the floor and plunking in the car, forgetting to put on my make-up (which FYI is pretty embarrassing when you already look half asleep because you ARE ACTUALLY half asleep). When we got there I gulped down large amounts of coffee and SOSed my friend to bring me make-up, but unfortunately she didn't get the message....The coffee worked wonders though and I quickly forgot my ugly face and had a great time too. I'm not absolutely positive, but I'm fairly certain I didn't stop talking until we left 2.5 hours later, at which point I caught myself rambling about absolutely nothing to Helmut in the car on the way home and finally stopped.

Hayden just happens to share the same birthday as another girl in our church. Last year we didn't have a party for Hayden, but we attended a party for this little girl on his actual birthday. It was almost like having a party for him but with her getting all the gifts. Ghetto? I think not. It's AWESOME. This year she came to our party in the morning, then we attended hers in the evening. I should also mention that at last year's party Hayden was AWFUL, and I was so depressed (PPD) that I almost cried in front of everyone at least 25 times.

This year was completely different. Hayden was a changed kid. He played all the games, followed instructions, sat in a chair like a real human being, and ate his cake with a fork instead of smashing it all over his face. I was so proud my face was shining like the sun and I couldn't stop smiling. I felt so happy I was able to do what I do best: give out lots of unsolicited advice.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I've forgotten last weeks "runaway incident." In fact I think I'm permanently scarred from that. I'm going to need therapy to get past it....and a masseuse, turns out carrying a 40 lb kid on one hip and pushing a stroller while shooting laser beams from your eyes and having steam from your white hot rage coming out your ears does bad things to your back. I haven't been able to sit comfortably for a week.

The Story

Okay, I'm ready to tell what happened. You'll probably laugh when you read this and think what a sissy I am for freaking out so much, but here you go:

We went to the park to enjoy some of the nice weather. While we were there some kids came along and showed Hayden a little snake they had caught. It was really cute and Hayden was enthralled. He proceeded to follow them around the park mimicking things they did and said, climbing whatever they climbed and chasing them whenever they would run away. I sat on the park bench next to Mariah, who was munching snacks in the stroller, and thought how adorable and outgoing he was.

Then one of the kids decided to leave. She started walking across the park to the basketball courts and soon after the other kids followed her, including Hayden. There is a large expanse of grass between the park and the basketball courts, followed by a small expanse of grass and the exit. The whole park is fenced in and only has 3 exits. It's about 2 acres. Once he got to the basketball courts I hollered at him to come back. I'm not sure why I thought he would listen, that was my first mistake. Then he ran to the farthest exit, still following the kids. I hollered much MUCH louder thinking surely he wouldn't actually follow them out of the park, that was my second mistake. Soon he had exited the park barely giving me a backward glace as I screamed at him to come back (literally screamed, in fact I'm pretty sure the whole county heard me). By this time I had thrown his tricycle into the back of the stroller buckled Mariah in and was running full speed across the park screaming for one of the kids to grab him before he got away. I could no longer see him as he had run past some houses that were blocking my view and continued down the street amidst traffic. I left Mariah stranded in the stroller at the side of the park and ran down the street to where one of the kids had caught him and was holding him down. I grabbed him and carried him back to the park to get Mariah, all the while fuming and ranting about how naughty he had been.

It was a long LONG walk home. I often marvel how when I am at my breaking point with him, God inserts a long walk or a long drive to help me cool off before I have to discipline him. I did spank him for it, and I was still a little angry, but not nearly as angry as I was before a 1/2 mile hike pushing a stroller with one hand and carrying him with the other.

So that's it. I'm still traumatized and haven't taken him to the park again....or even on a walk. So now not only are we not going shopping together, but we are not going ANYWHERE, AND I'm seriously considering pre-school. I'm not sure how much more of the constant daily naughty stuff I can take before I lose my mind.

Noteworthy

It has been raining quite a bit here the past week so we've been staying in the house. This afternoon it stopped raining and the sun came out, so I decided to take advantage of it and take the kids to the park.....and that's where I have to stop, because the story that follows is still so traumatizing to me that I can't write about it. I thought I could, but i can't. You should know: everybody is okay, and nothing truly bad happened, just some of Hayden's antics that scared me out of my wits. I'll tell you tomorrow.

In less dramatic news, today marks the first day that Hayden voluntarily played by himself in his room with the door shut. Up until today he has never wanted to be out of my site or play by himself, but he finally realized that the only way he'll be able to build a train track that lasts long enough for him to drive a train on, thanks to Mariah, will have to be done in private. He played in there for about half an hour and all I could think of was how quiet it was in the house. I hope this will be the first a many peaceful afternoon play times. I did read that the closer a child gets to their 3rd birthday, the more their imagination takes off and they begin to play better alone. I guess he's right on schedule.

Christmas Spectacular

Decorating for Christmas with little kids is so much more fun and exciting than decorating by ourselves was. I was moved to tears several times just seeing how excited Hayden got over the Christmas tree (and not just because I'm PMSing....okay, probably mostly for that reason). I put the Christmas lights on the tree, we plugged them in and for the next hour Hayden ran around the house exclaiming "Happy Christmas!" to everyone and everything, including his stuffed cat. Then he sat down on the floor in front of the tree and said, "it's wonderful," in hushed tones. It was so sweet I completely forgot the hot chocolate throwing incident from yesterday and the unwrapped toilet paper filled bathroom incident from this morning.

This afternoon I made some sugar cookie dough with visions of him and I bonding over a fun activity. Something new and exciting that we had never done before. I imagined how I would role out the dough for him and he would use the cookie cutters to make cute little shapes, then together we would place them into the oven while exchanging secretive smiles. I think I failed to remember that he is only two. That was probably my first mistake. Maybe that dream works with a 5 or 6 year old....who knows I'm not there yet. What actually happened was more like this:

Me: "Hayden, let me role the dough and then you can cut the shapes...."

Hayden: "Can I have a bite?"

Me: "No, we're going to cut shapes and then bake them and eat the cookies."

Hayden: "Can I have a bite now?" (reaching...)

Me: "No, just wait!"

Hayden: "I WANT A BITE!" (reaching and grabbing)

Me: "Put that back! wait till we cut shapes!"

Hayden: "I want another bite."

Me: "How about we cut shapes?"

Hayden: "BITE, BITE, BITE, BITE!"

Me: (sneaking a bite for myself), NO!..............................okay.

It ended with me frantically cutting shapes so there would at least be some cookies, while Hayden gobbled his weight in cookie dough and plain flour. I guess we're just a cookie dough eating kind of family.

Unless you want to be very stressed out, annoyed and have your little imaginary dream shattered I'd say It's always better to go into activities with a 2 year old without any preconceived ideas of how it will go. Lesson Learned.

Baby Shoes and Why Target Brand Pregnancy Tests are the Devil

Sorry I have been neglecting my blog. I have been sewing shoe after shoe in the attempt to figure out how to use my sewing machine and make a baby shoe that is actually wearable. There are little brown shoes littering the living room floor and not a single one of them even fits Mariah....not to mention how NOT cute they are. Apparently my sewing skillz leave something to be desired. I am learning though, and having a surprising amount of fun doing it. I've never considered myself to be "crafty," in fact, years of motherly encouragement and repeated attempts to even LIKE knitting had me giving up on myself, but i'm realizing that sewing is completely different and for some reason that i can't put my finger on i'm actually liking it.

In other news that deserves to be written about, I almost found out I was pregnant on Thursday. I had been feeling really tired for a few days, and add to that a few other unmentionable symptoms and rather than sweat it out I decided to take a pregnancy test....not to mention how much I enjoy peeing on sticks. If those things were cheaper I would buy piles of them just for the pure enjoyment of taking random pregnancy tests. I'm not sure where this fascination comes from, I hope for Mariah's sake it's not genetic. Off to target I went and bought myself a box of pregnancy tests. I should mention that I didn't really think I was pregnant....I mean, the possibility was there, but lets say it was only 2.3%. We have been unbelievable careful since Mariah was born, shell shocked into not wanting another baby just yet.

We put the kids to bed, then I took the test and sat there waiting for my answer. Two minutes later I was still sitting there, staring at the test window and trying to decide if a very very verrrry faint line was a mistake or if I could actually be pregnant. These things don't lie right?? I've read it's almost impossible to get a false positive, but HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I POSSIBLY BE PREGNANT?! I followed that performance with two heart attacks, a shudder, some tears, frantic praying, and then many feelings of guilt over how the baby would feel if it ever found out my initial reaction to it's presence. I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, but unable to think about anything accept how that test couldn't be right. Finally I got up the nerve to ask google about it. Google knows, people. Apparently I'm not the only one who has gotten a false positive from target brand pregnancy test. It happens ALOT. In fact, there are so many people complaining that I'm surprised they haven't done something about it yet.

I read multiple stories about women who have fertility problems taking them and being overjoyed thinking that had finally gotten pregnant, only to find out later from a doctor that the test was wrong. Reading those heartbreaks and disappointments was convicting. I know that if I were to get pregnant now I would love the child unconditionally, as I love my other children, but ideally for the sake of my sanity I would like to wait 5-10 years.....or at LEAST 2.5.

That information obtained I waited for the morning and then peed on another stick just for fun....and too add yet another false positive to the pile. I then thumbed my nose at target brand and went on to tell the story to a couple of friends thinking it was funny. Neither of them thought it was funny and both insisted that I take another test to be sure. I bought the expensive brand the second time around and came up with a NOT PREGNANT on the first try.

For a tightwad I have spent an awful lot of money on pregnancy tests this week....about 22$ to be exact....22$ that i could have been blowing in Etsy's general direction.

Never buy store brand pregnancy tests when you want to know the truth the first time. Lesson Learned.

The Terrible TWOS

It's weird when I look back on the day at all my "grievances" and realize how small and mundane they were (ok, i take that back, i just reread this post and I'm still irritated by everything that happened). This afternoon I was ready to blow my top...I almost did several times, and I can confirm at least two occasions where i was literally shaking with wrath at atrocities committed by Hayden's hand, but if i told you what they were you would probably shake your head at me for getting so bent out of shape about them...not true they were really that bad.

But in the interest of being honest....and venting I'm going to tell you anyway. Let the head shaking and finger wagging begin.

It began at the grocery store, a happy outing with friends where Hayden proceeded to run helter skelter around the store, grabbing at the glass bottles of salad dressings....and/or ANY glass bottles, laying on the floor again and again and again, and making loud "whooping" noises until at last my patience ran out and I made him sit in the basket of the shopping cart as a punishment to him....and me (because once in there he squashed all my food).

Then it progressed to nap time. On most days this is a pretty easy venture. Today EVERYTHING was working against me. Nap time with two kids is very different from nap time with just one. It's a carefully orchestrated feat to be pulled off by only the most persistent and bull-headedly stubborn of parents. In order to get both children napping at the same time every afternoon, I have to wake them up at certain times every morning, (Hayden 8:30; Mariah 9) and Mariah must wake up from her morning nap by 12pm. If those things happen then I have a 95% chance of getting them both to go to sleep at 2pm. I put Mariah in bed, get her cozy, and then leave and do the same with Hayden, then I lie on the floor next to him until Mariah stops crying (don't feel bad, Mariah has always cries at nap time, regardless of whether i rock her, bounce her, do cartwheels or magic tricks for her, nothing works) and Hayden falls asleep. Then I'm golden for almost 2 hours.

On the way home from the grocery store Mariah fell asleep....for 15 minutes. When we got home she woke up and I thought she might go back to sleep so i put her in her bed and got Hayden in his bed. We both lay there for the next 30 minutes listening to Mariah alternate between playing in her crib to screaming like a wildcat. Finally we all gave up and I decided that it was in every ones best interests to skip nap time for now.

The next several hours included, Hayden throwing random stuff into the toilet, which i had to fish out with my BARE HAND. Hayden beaming his best friend in the face with a railroad track (sorry M). Hayden throwing a ball and knocking over a soda which gushed all over my arms, the carpet, and the furniture. Putting his hands in his spaghetti and rubbing it on his face, throwing spaghetti on the floor, wiping spaghetti on my arms, splashing gallons of water out of the bath tub, throwing a tantrum for having to pull up his own pants after going potty, and many more delightful incidences which i have happily blocked from my memory.

By 3pm I was cramming chocolate in an effort to avoid a total meltdown (like that ever works?!) by 6pm I had caved on my diet and was stress eating spaghetti, by 6:30 I had given myself a time-out, and by 6:45 when Helmut got home my rise in blood pressure was easily viewed by the bulging vein in my neck.

Now the little angels are happily asleep in their beds and I have had a few minutes of silence to collect myself and pick my brains up off the floor and have decided that I want a massage.

More Kids?

Saturday was Mariah's 1st birthday. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I couldn't be more excited that my baby is growing up and I've survived a WHOLE YEAR with two children, but on the other hand I'm sad that the little baby stuff is over. We haven't decided yet whether or not we're up for having any more kids. I think the past year was a little traumatic for Helmut and I and we may be experiencing some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I have a permanent bulging vein in my neck, and Helmut gets the shakes at night. Just kidding, but seriously, it was a rough year. I never envisioned the transition being so difficult.

That said 12 months old is a bewitching age for me. Mariah has reached a semi-independence that is heart melting and adorable. When I look at her chubby little cheeks and cute little face I remember why I wanted to give Hayden a "little friend" at this age. It's taking most of my will power to resist making a similar lapse in judgment the second time around (well, not really a lapse in judgment).

Have you ever made a baby connection? It has nothing to do with the cuteness of the baby. I've held lots of cute babies, but only had this phenomenon happen twice so far, once when i held my friends 2 week old baby for the first time (MP I'm talking about Juliana), after which i immediately became pregnant with Hayden. The second time happened about 2 months ago, when another set of friends welcomed their 5th child into the world. I went to visit them at the hospital and I was able to hold the baby in my arms and in that moment I realized that I might be okay with having another child. Something about holding that newborn baby and looking into his eyes began the healing process in me for all the terrors that were last year's transition. Up until that moment I had been firmly set against having anymore kids, thinking there was absolutely no way my sanity would stretch any further, but apparently there is.

If there is ever to be another Granda, I think it will have to wait 3-5 more years. Of course accidents happen, but if we ever decide to do this again i want to be more prepared, and I want to kids to be old enough not to FREAK OUT.

That said, thanks to all my Texas friends who kept me from the loony bin. This has been a year I will NEVER forget.

Swine Flu

Well, I think it's safe to say we've had our show down of the Swine Flu (H1N1). All in all I'd have to say it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. It's been going around our development the past few months and this past week it showed up at church and Hayden brought it home with him. So far he's the only one who's had it, which also surprises me. I had thought it was so contagious that everyone it touched would get it....like the plague. At least that's how it was being portrayed on the news. Talk about melodramatic. That's why I don't watch the news anymore, if I did I would probably be terrified that my own shadow was going to abduct me.

I did stop by my favorite pharmacy for some remedy options though. They showed me several things that I could use at home:

1) Hylands Flu Tablets - which happen to work really well on pain relief.
2) Boiron's Flu Remedy - which i haven't tried, but the woman explaining told me that it's similar to a flu vaccine except that you orally take a much diluted version of the flu, and supposedly it works very well.
3) Probiotics - my own idea.

So, if you've gotten yourself all worked up about the horrible HORRIBLE plaque-like swine flu, just relax, for us it wasn't even as bad as the regular flu's....or that horrible flu I got last year. That one was WAY worse. MEMORABLY worse. Why didn't they document that one?!

Heated Debates and MSG Facts

I originally wrote this post a couple of years ago but thought it important enough to share on my new blog. This past week I've been reminded of this stuff through reading of the Nestle Family boycott from a fellow mom blogger. I've been inadvertently avoiding all Nestle products just to avoid the MSG content, but now I see there are so many more reasons why they should be avoided. I have absolutely no doubt that MSG is the underlying cause behind the nations obesity epidemic, the rise in cancer and heart disease and the general poor health of Americans today, but for some reason no one appears to give it the proper credit....or any credit. After researching my brains out about the stuff I came to the conclusion that it would not be something I would ever voluntarily feed to my children or family. That is the primary reason we eat organic food. NOT because I am a sold-out organic lover, but because over the past 2 years of reading product labels I've discovered that products labeled "organic" generally have the least amount of preservatives and some prepared foods do not contain any MSG so i feel i can safely feed them to my kids.

Up until a couple years ago I was under the impression that Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) (nicknamed “cancer fertilizer”) was only found in chinese food. After doing some of my own internet research I’ve found that it’s in nearly everything that comes in a bag, box or can. Sickening huh? All this time I thought we were eating an MSG free diet when in truth we are being inundated with the stuff. I’m doing my best to get the word out without freaking out, so I’m making a post about it for everyone who’s like me and just didn’t know.

Want to know what’s causing obesity in America?

Trying to eat an MSG free diet? It’s a lot more difficult than you think. There are a few websites out there to help. I’m including the list of alias names for MSG for anyone that it might benefit…..

The following are a few products that ALWAYS contain MSG:

• Monosodium Glutamate (MSG)
• Hydrolyzed Protein: (plant, vegetable, any kind)
• Sodium or Calcium Caseinate
• Autolyzed Yeast, Yeast Extract
• Yeast Food, Yeast Nutrient
• Textured Protein
• Glutamic Acid
• Monopotassium Glutamate
• Gelatin

The following products may contain MSG or create MSG during processing:

• Natural Flavors, flavoring, flavors, natural anything flavor
• Bouillon or Stock
• Broth (chicken, beef, any kind)
• Carrageenan
• Whey protein, whey protein concentrate, whey protein isolate
• Soy sauce, soy protein isolate, soy protein concentrate
• Malt Extract or Flavoring, Malted Barley
• Maltodextrin
• Anything Protein fortified
• Anything Fermented
• Anything Ultra Pasteurized
• Anything Enzyme-modified

Human Alarm Clocks

Somebody needs to inform my 11 month old and 2 year old that I will be happy to assist them with all their night time needs and early morning wake up but i will require a platter of egg, bacon and cheese taco's, a super-sized latte, and some brownies....and even then i will probably still resemble this:


Last night I went to bed with a headache. I even took some Tylenol because i thought it would help and put me to sleep. It didn't. I lay awake for another hour until Hayden came in and helped himself to the middle section of our bed. I then spent the next 7 hours fielding blows to my face and back. I miss the days of the crib, when he couldn't get out and he slept good every night by himself...and when i didn't wake up in the morning with a black eye from where my 2 year old kicked me and socked me with his stuff cat. Seriously, is he training to be a ninja in his sleep? On a side note: maybe i should stop showing him Kung Fu Panda before bed.

Mariah also decided to join in the fun by randomly waking, screaming and thrashing around when i picked her up (usually a sign that she's having an allergic reaction to a bug bite). I responded with my usual reaction to a random midnight wakening which is to mutter curses and swears under my breath and shake my fist at the sky....not actual curses and swears, just the words "curses" and "swears." By morning i was so grouchy that when my husband made a comment about leaving for work, I almost spontaneously combusted.

There are no sick days as a mom. I think that's the most difficult part of being a mother for me. Sometimes i just want to sleep of a bad night but i can't. I do have to give Helmut some credit though, since we don't have any family around us he really does step up and give me a break when I really need it. As the morning progressed things got better. Two cups of hot chocolate later and I was able to stop my seething and start in with the annoyed sighing (a step up I assure you). All's well that ends well right? I sure hope tonight goes better though. I would just hate to burst a blood vessel from a dramatic rise in blood pressure tomorrow morning.

Curious George: The Dark Side

A couple of months ago we axed our cable and stopped watching all the normal programs on television. I used to be glued to The Biggest Loser, Top Chef, and ANYTHING on HGTV. Hayden's shows of choice included Curious George, Word World and most other PBS cartoons. We thought that by getting rid of TV we would spend more time outside and doing creative things rather than sitting around zoning out. We didn't want to get rid of everything however, and Hayden was pretty addicted to his daily Curious George, so i went on Amazon.com and bought all the CG videos I could find so he wouldn't start feeling deprived....or whatever a 2 year old feels when they lose their tube watching privileges.

For the past two months now he's been watching George almost exclusively. For a time I marveled at what a good role model that little monkey is. He eats fruits and vegetables for snacks, he recycles, and he's Uber polite. All around good stuff. I failed to notice his monkey antics until recently.

Our last couple of trips to the grocery store have been a nightmare for me. Hayden runs away, grabs stuff randomly, grabs random people, shouts at the top of his lungs, and is generally embarrassing to shop with. At one point a few weeks ago when he was laying in the shopping cart using my expensive organic loaf of bread as a pillow and the organic avocados as a foot rest while simultaneously throwing a tantrum and ripping apart my cheese i decided to suspend all further shopping privileges for him. That worked for at least 2 days before i ran out of groceries and had no choice but to take him on another equally pleasurable shopping trip.

It was at this point that I realized George might have a dark side. A side i should have considered before letting my impressionable 2 year old watch him over and over. In addition to all his charming qualities George also climbs everything, frequently makes HUGE messes, and every single episode is based on how he colossally damages things and then learns how to fix them. I guess having my child model himself after a monkey isn't the best idea after all. ParentingFail.

We may be in the market for some new educational cartoons. Any suggestions?

Having Babies Close in Age

I have five other brothers and sisters. Growing up my parents would give us little hints tips on making parenting easier, but at the time I didn't know that's what they were. I just thought they were annoying little factoids to be ignored. I also didn't know I wanted to have kids. I thought I would grow old as the uptight secretary... a notion I entertained for a 2 year period while working at one of the most beautiful, and poorly run camps in the world (they have since undergone some changes and from what I hear are now quite classy). So when they threw out the have-kids-2.5-years-apart-rule I happily ignored them.

After having Hayden I entered a phase of mothering ecstasy. He was such a sweet and perfect baby and my hormones were obviously drugging me into a utopian dreamworld. Helmut and I decided to ignore the have-kids-2.5-years-apart-rule, thinking the addition of a baby sister as soon as possible would only make things more wonderful, but I was wrong. Things are wonderful now, but for the first 6 months after I had my daughter I wondered if I would be able to live through stress of having two small children too young.

I've decided to make a pros and cons list for those of you who haven't had your second child yet and are thinking about it. There is so much controversy on this topic that I've decided not to give my actual opinion, but if you email me I WILL TELL YOU. Feel free to add stuff if you've already had your second, third or fourth, etc.

Pros of having kids less than 2.5 years apart:
1. They can share sippy cups.
2. They can share the same sized diapers.
3. Heck, they can share baby food (because the older child will want to eat baby food again once he sees his little sister eating it)
4. At some point in their lives they will become best friends and play well together (or so I've been told).

Cons of having kids less than 2.5 years apart:
1. Unless you're very diligent while pregnant with the second child you will be changing two sets of diapers every day.
2. Your older child will still be too young to have achieved the "independence" stage, meaning they will still want you to pick them up and hold them ALL THE TIME. This becomes a challenge once you have the newborn baby, especially if the newborn is colicky and WILL NOT LET YOU PUT THEM DOWN.
3. You will basically have two babies. One very big tantrum throwing baby, and one very tiny unable to do anything baby.
4. When you go to the grocery store (if you are especially gutsy) you will probably have to put the infant in a front pack, and the older kid in the basket of the cart, or put the older kid in the basket and the baby with infant carrier baby seat in the shopping cart. You will then have to try and squeeze enough food for the week around the infant seat without smothering the child within. This can be tricky. I don't recommend it. If you choose the front pack method your child will probably become so heavy over time that a trip to the grocery store will become akin to a 14 mile hike through the wilderness, but with less fresh air and more screaming.
5. The older child has still not mastered gentleness and kindness or bodily self control (especially if it's an overactive boy). This is especially scary around a newborn baby. What used to be cute little monkey-like antics are now scary-as-heck (I don't swear, but use your imagination) moments.

If you've already had your second child, and you're living through some of this list, I feel for you and don't worry you'll make it through. Things start to get easier around month 6. If you're absolutely bent on having kids really close, then go for it, this list will just give you a little heads up.