The Entertainer

Is it too early to start teaching her to play? I think not.

Guilty Pleasures

For Christmas this year Helmut and I decided to buy a joint gift for each other and the family. Since we don't have cable or TV, but we do have the fastest internet that money can buy (thanks to Helmut being a web geek) we got ourselves a small black plastic box that plays Netflix, Blu ray discs, and a bunch of other stuff that you shouldn't ask me about (because I don't know).

This allows us to watch Netflix directly from the web on streaming video.....or a bunch of other such words that I don't really understand. Netflix and I have a rather informal relationship. Since we've had the streaming video option, we've become rather intimately acquainted. It knows my likes, and dislikes. It frequently suggests I watch videos implying that I will absolutely adore them.....all based on it's rating system of course. I've rated about 100 videos from best to worst and now they've got my number.

A week ago I was on Netflix looking for some new videos to add to my list when i noticed this series from BBC that it insisted I had to watch. Normally I don't bother with TV shows, but since it was so positive I would love it.....to the tune of 5 whopping stars, i decided to give it a try. Yesterday's post was inspired by this past week of activity following the submergence into this new show.....So you must be wondering what it's about, let me sum it up for you:

Beautiful Scottish countryside
A Castle
Bagpipes
Secret Passageways
Scottish Accents
Amusing characters
LOADS of Charm

Okay, I'm a grandma, but whatever, I can't stop watching. I'm so addicted I can barely peel myself away do anything. Lucky for me there are only 5 seasons.

It's called "Monarch of the Glen."

10 Clues that You've Been Watching Too Much TV

1. You're on a first name basis with more cartoon characters than your kids are.

2. You find yourself utilizing the cracks in the couch as temporary trash receptacles.

3. Roughly 75% of your meals are eaten on the sofa in spite of the fact that the kitchen table is in the same room and located only 5 feet further from the TV.

4. Dinner conversation revolves around the latest reality tv show....and facebook.

5. a.You find yourself singing the theme song to: Dora, Thomas and Friends, Sesame Street and Curious George while cleaning.
b. you find yourself singing harmonies to the songs while they're playing.
c. you rewrite the lyrics for fun.

6. You relate life lessons to your child with frequent references to cartoon characters.

7. Going the get the mail is a huge ordeal and/or the biggest outing of the day.

8. Nothing EVER gets done.

9. You gain 20lbs without realizing it.

10. You're more concerned with Conan O'brien's carrier options than your own.

The Workout Plan and Incidental Extras

Last week I went to the gym twice to attend some yoga classes for my back....and that's where my plan for self induced physical therapy met a road block. Both children and myself came down with colds after the second attendance and ended up staying home sick all of the second week.

Our sicknesses hit a peak a couple of days ago, when during the night Mariah woke up and cried and thrashed for two hours, I ran a low grade fever, and Hayden spent the night coughing and waking repeatedly. The next afternoon (which i think was yesterday.....but i've lost all track of time) my vitamins for the kids came in the mail and after 1 day on them we're all feeling much better, but not before yesterday's mishap.

When I was a little kid....aged 6, I witnessed a school mate having a nose bleed. I remember vividly freaking out quietly inside my head (because i was really shy) and thinking his brain was bleeding out his nose. Years later after being married to my wonderful husband for about 4 years, i found out that he too is afflicted by the infrequent nose bleed. VERY infrequent apparently because in our then 9 years of acquaintance and marriage i had never before witnessed one....which brings me to yesterday:

We had been hanging around the house, playing inside, watching cartoons and generally taking it easy when i decided everyone looked well enough for a walk to the mailbox. I asked Hayden if he wanted to ride his bike, to which he promptly said "YES." I then proceeded to use the restroom, change out of my pj's and fix my rat's nest (ugh, i mean hair) while he followed me around whining repeatedly that he wanted to "ride his bike." I was trying to keep my mouth shut and not explode from all the whining, so i didn't say anything. Instead I kept getting dressed. The next thing i knew he was standing in front of me with blood pouring out of his nose. I sat him on the sink and tried not to let my utter horror, worry and panic show on my face as i tried to hold a towel to his nose. He responded the way any strong willed 3 year old boy would: by screaming really loudly and thrashing about. I tried to get him to put his head back....because isn't that what you're supposed to do?! But he refused, kept screaming and the blood kept pouring out like Niagara falls. So i did what i thought would be best and made him lay down on the counter. That made everything 1000% worse, because now not only was he screaming and thrashing, but the blood was going down his throat and choking him and he was coughing it out of his mouth. Right about then i wanted to faint into a dead sleep and not wake up until the issue had resolved itself, but realizing that if I did Mariah would have time to consume that entire deodorant that she was munching on while we were having our little wrestling match i decided not too. Instead I finally got some sense in my head, pulled Hayden into my lap and sat on the counter hugging him, holding a towel to his nose, and explaining amidst the crying that "this is okay and it happens to daddy when he's sick too."

I'm not going to lie, seeing that much blood come out of my son was terrifying. He's a rough boy and is constantly covered in scratches, cuts and bruises from playing, but this was decidedly different. I now realize that I had better do a little research on nose bleeds so that next time it happens I won't feel so panicked. Kids can sense that stuff no matter how little of it shows up on our faces....at least mine can. Which brings me to:

Life Lesson #14 (approx.): Research hereditary illness before it shows up in your kids, so when it does make an appearance you'll know how to deal with it appropriately and without fear.....or at least panic.

Blogging for Posterity

Usually when I see adds on the sides of website pages I ignore them. In fact, most of the time I have blocked them out so efficiently that i don't even notice that they're there. This also affects my ability to notice normal human signs....like the one hanging over the toilet that says: "out of order," but today i noticed a small advertisement on the side of my blog that completely sucked me in.

A website that prints your entire blog in book form. WOW. NOW I CAN HAND MY BLOG DOWN TO MY KIDS AND GRAND KIDS. Generations of Granda's can see the goofy stuff I've written. YAY. Okay, I know I'm getting a little carried away, but i was hoping something like this would come along so i could keep a copy of my ramblings for Hayden and Mariah to read someday when they have trouble with their kids, because by that point i will have completely lost my mind and be of no help to them anymore. You will find me standing in the corner trying to muffle my laughter while their kids hurl themselves on the floor and throw tantrums, run away, fling food on the walls, scream, wipe cake all over their faces, step in poopy diapers, scream some more, and bring a level of chaos to life that they never thought possible. <---------all this from a woman who loves kids and tells every married couple they should have a baby....you should have a baby, seriously it'll change your life for the better.

Here is the website that I found : Sharedbook.com

If you know of a better website leave a comment and tell me about it!

Tiny Texan

Texan, born and bred (kinda).

Thanks Aunt Becky for the cool new cowboy boots.

Visitor

Hayden and Mariah's favorite outdoor companion, "Fake" Jack.

The Gym

After I had Mariah I developed a bulging disc in my lower back which caused me 3 months of unbearable agony and then another 3 months of less dramatic pain before finally healing. Since then I've re injured it 3 times....one time fairly recently where it took a week to re heal. After much google supplied research and a few conversations with friends I decided that the best way to fix this issue and only way to really prevent it from happening again was to start doing yoga and Pilate's a couple of times a week. So far everything I've found suggests that as the only possible non surgical solution, and as I am VERY anti back surgery (it comes with extremely bad odds, very bad reviews and heck, I'm a total hippie when it comes to medicating, surgery, etc.) I'm going with it.

Today was Day 1 of my new stretched out lifestyle. I pushed myself hard to get the kids ready and out of the house by 10am and down to the YMCA. I dropped off Mariah who screamed and cried huge crocodile tears and ushered Hayden into his class where he nervously joined the other kids playing with trains, and took my very very guilty self off for a few hours of therapeutic yoga.

I'm aware that since my kids aren't used to being babysat very much they are often tentative, semi-unhappy and sometimes scream for a few minutes in the beginning when we leave them with strangers. With that in mind this morning I packed a half-full carton of raisins and a sippy cup for Mariah to be used by the staff as a consolation bribe, should the crying exceed 2 or 3 minutes.

I came back from Yoga 90 minutes later to find Mariah playing with the empty raisin container. I picked her up and started putting on her jacket, politely asking the girl behind the counter how she had done. The words she spoke struck a certain amount of horror into my being:

"The raisins really helped with the crying, she ate like the whole thing."
(lets say 6-8 adult servings)

Holy frijoles woman are you kidding me?! You fed her the WHOLE THING?! Do you have any idea what happens when you feed babies raisins??????? My gosh I though a small handful would suffice. That's what I should have said, instead what came out was freaked out eyes, an awkward smile and a nice "thank you."

Three hours and one nap time later Hayden and I were the unhappy witnesses of a pooped up bed, pants, shirt, and a diaper full of whole undigested raisins. It didn't end there either. A few hours later....more raisins.

I haven't been a fan of eating raisins since I was a little kid, but now I am even less so. In fact, I'm fairly certain it will be years if not decades before i put another raisin in my mouth. When leaving a snack for you child with a caregiver, give implicit directions on how they are to administer it. Lesson Learned.

Cats Welcome

Cat Village

Finally a good usage for all those unused moving boxes.

Last year we decided we had outgrown out little house and started looking for something bigger. We packed up all our extra stuff and put it in the garage, then put our house on the market. LOTS AND LOTS of drama later, we took our house off the market and decided to wait for a while. We have yet to re list it.

Dream Crusher

You might be wondering what happened with my sewing projects or more specifically the baby boots. For a while there I was a sewing maniac. I had morphed the original boot pattern into something wonderful that i think people might actually buy instead of scoff at, and then i began looking for a more durable type of fleece.....and that's where i ended. Not because a more durable type of fleece is impossible to come by, but because according to the CPSIA JKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ regulations, fleece is banned. Only materials that are natural (cotton, wool, etc) are allowed to be used without being tested. So if you know anyone who would be willing to put wool boots on their babies, send me an email.

Admission

I should probably clarify something from the last post. My vanity is very small......meaning I really only have a small amount of readers and I get depressed if even 1 person is missing for the day....okay, maybe not "depressed" but i shuffle around looking at the ground for a while wondering why i have to write such a silly blog.

So before you start getting blog envy and boycotting my blog thinking i have thousands of readers, you should know my entire happiness depends on each of you coming and reading everyday....no pressure.

Spying on Your Readers 101

Hello Internet. I've missed you old friend. I know it's been a while. Lets just say I wanted to take a holiday vacation, but I'm back now so let's get right down to it:

Instead of writing about something you all probably want to hear about, like what it's like taking a 3 year old and a 1 year old on an 8-10 hour drive to Mexico and back, or how we brought in the New Year amidst very questionable machine gun fire, or how many tacos i was able to consume in 6 days, I'm going to write about something off the wall. Something I noticed happening with increasing rapidity while i was gone: How many woman got duped by the target brand pregnancy test during Christmas.

If you blog and have any vanity at all you probably have some sort of analytics program set up. I'd like to say I'm "above" this, but sadly its not true. I revel in the amounts of readers I get, and feel like a rejected loser when nobody comes around. For those of you unfamiliar with what an analytics program does, it tells you how many people came and read your blog, where they came from, and if they return....it does not give names and addresses so you can stop sweating. Three reasons I have this program:

1. My vanity
2. My vanity
3. So i can make sure my blog and pictures don't get used in a profane way somewhere on the Internet.

It's for this reason that I noticed a sudden rise in popularity over the holidays. Suddenly without trying i became an overnight Internet sensation....okay, not really. It turns out the holidays are a good time to take a pregnancy test.....and also a good time to freak out about it. For once it wasn't me doing the freaking out.

I realized today that Mariah is now older than Hayden was when I got pregnant the second time....I should also tell you that I held a very adorable 3 day old baby last week.....I looked dreamily into her sweet little face and thought "I can definitely do this again...." while Hayden and Mariah smashed her little toys and screamed in the background.