Monday, August 31, 2009

Gorilla Face

I was going to write a post tonight giving you an update on Mariah's foot and how my diet is going but then i got STUNG IN THE FACE BY A BEE.

A few days ago Hayden and I were playing outside when I noticed that there were hundreds of ants crawling up the side of our house and into an opening outside of his bedroom window. You're probably wondering what this has to do with a bee stinging my face.....I'll get to it. So, being the dutiful wife and slight hick that I am, I made myself some ant poison and fought with Hayden for the rights of being able to put it where they would eat it. Three days later it's finally working. All the ants are dead or dying and have taken it upon themselves to give each other a proper Hayden's carpet. They have all managed to drag their dying bodies out of a hole in his wall and litter themselves upon the floor all over his room.

I can be pretty dense sometimes, but today I set a new record. I took the kids into Hayden's room to play, plopped myself into a chair and started reading. About 20 minutes later Hayden started climbing on my lap making a fuss about some bug or other so I glanced down to where he was pointing and saw for the first time the HUMONGOUS pile of dead ants. As I looked around the room I started noticing them everywhere. I jumped out of my seat in horror and saw that I had even sat on a few. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to suck them all into the vacuum, but even then there were stragglers. So we decided not to play in there until the siege ended.

About this time I decided to make a cheesecake. Since I'm so obviously an expert on cheesecake making having made at least 3 previously, I decided to ignore the explicit instructions on the recipe about placing an extra pan below the cheesecake to keep any drips from what?....maybe catching on FIRE. A few minutes later we were smoked out of the house.

Which brings me to the bee. I should have known what was coming. I mean, the bees have built a nest between the door and the screen. If that's not asking for it, I don't know what is. I guess banging the screen door open and closed about 35 times might not have helped the bee's tolerance of us. On one such banging he must have gotten really peeved and decided to let me have it right on my eyebrow. I'm not sure if it was all the wild slapping of my own face or maybe the baking soda that I put on immediately afterward, but for some reason it stopped hurting after a couple hours and it hasn't swollen at all. I was fully expecting to look like a gorilla woman for the next couple of weeks, but I suppose that desire will have to wait.

Mariah's foot is doing much better. The day after I wrote the post the swelling went down and it looked normal again. After reading the label on the crushed bee cure I noticed that it says to wait 3 days for the healing process to take place. Next time I'll try to be more patient.

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